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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271094">ir abelas, ma vhenan</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chshrkitten/pseuds/chshrkitten'>chshrkitten</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Yes both those tags belong here), Angst, Dragon Age II Quest - All That Remains Spoilers, F/F, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, New Relationship Energy, One Shot, Post-Dragon Age II Quest - All That Remains, Red Hawke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:01:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chshrkitten/pseuds/chshrkitten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a li’l one-shot filling in more of the conversation with Romanced!Merrill, Post-All That Remains. Plus some Hawke family angst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Hawke/Merrill, Hawke/Merrill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ir abelas, ma vhenan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry. I’ve said something wrong. I’ll be quiet now.” Merrill sat down beside her.</p><p>“No, you, I…” Marian trailed off, strong hands flexing uselessly at her sides. Tentatively, she put an arm around Merrill, not quite touching her, but her touch hovering so close in the air that Merrill could feel the heat coming off her. “Can I?”</p><p>“Oh. Oh yes, of course.” Merrill snuggled closer to Hawke, just as Hawke wordlessly drew her in. Her robe was soft under Merrill’s cheek, and Merrill took a moment to listen to her lover’s (lover’s? Yes, they were lovers now) heartbeat, steady as nothing else about Marian currently was. Even in the midst of all this, Merrill couldn’t help but notice that even though this was only the second time counting Their First Night (the capitals felt necessary) that Marian had held her, the way their bodies fit together felt natural. Which was a good sign, she assumed.</p><p>(Creators, what a way for a relationship to begin.)</p><p>Marian’s hand found the nape of Merrill’s neck, just above where her chainmaille collar ended, and tangled her fingers in the strands of Merrill’s hair. To an unfamiliar observer, it would have looked like the larger woman was the one comforting Merrill. Both of the women knew this wasn’t true.</p><p>Marian spoke in her own good time, just as Merrill had known she would. “Did you hear what Mother said to me, in the Foundry?”</p><p>“That she loved you, and she was very proud of you. It sounded very... it sounded nice.” Merrill said uncertainly. Marian’s voice had been devastated just now, and Merrill still remembered the look on the warrior’s face when Leandra had told her that last part. She’d looked like she’d taken a blow. </p><p>“It did. She,” Marian inhaled, and her barrel of a chest trembled beneath Merrill’s head. “She’d never said that to me before. We wasted so much time.” Surprisingly, there was no trace of the stutter that normally plagued Marian’s speech at difficult moments. But Merrill found she liked the hollowness in Marian’s voice far less. She sounded gutted in a way Merrill had never heard before. “Always thought she blamed me for Carver. I let him die. And I let Bethy--” Here, her voice did break. “I let her go. I thought she hated me for that.”</p><p>“Can I tell you something?” Merrill asked tentatively. </p><p>“‘Course.” Marian’s answer was immediate. “I didn’t mean to stop talking, with what I said earlier.” She smoothed a hand over Merrill’s hair in what Merrill heard as an apology. It wasn’t really necessary. She had said the wrong thing; she didn’t even know if Marian believed in life after death. </p><p>“I think--maybe--you’re the only one who hated you for that.”</p><p>Marian choked out a laugh. “Shit, maybe. I’ll never know. My whole life, I thought I was the kid she didn’t like. And maybe I was wrong! But now I’ll never know!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Vhenan.”</p><p>Silence, for a moment. A log cracked in the fireplace, the flare of light doing little to illuminate the scene.</p><p>“Do you know how you’re going to tell your sister?” Merrill said, then immediately added, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have asked that, should I? I, um,”</p><p>“Ask whatever you want.” Hawke cut in. “Listen. Nothing you say is wrong by me, Merrill.” </p><p>Oh. Oh that’s really nice. </p><p>Hawke continued. “Gamlen said he’d send her a letter.” She sighed. “I probably should have done it, but I don’t half know what to say.” She added in a smaller voice: “I promised to keep her safe.” Merrill couldn’t tell if ‘her’ referred to Bethany or Leandra. She supposed it came to the same thing.</p><p>“Maybe once you start writing, it’ll just come to you?” </p><p>“Might be. Merrill.” Hawke started, and stopped.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun fact!!!!!! I really didn’t want to do All That Remains (too busy fucking around Kirkwall being gay with my friends and solving mysteries, whatta game this is), so I put off going back to the Hawke Estate as long as I could, because I knew that would trigger the quest. What I forgot, because I’m a whole freeze dried idiot, was that going back to the Hawke estate was ALSO the only way to trigger Merrill’s romance scene. </p><p>So I do every other quest in that Act, and then end up starting ATR immediately after Merrill’s romance scene, which is why my poor Hawke had to come downstairs the morning after losing her virginity to her weird uncle telling her that her mother has mysteriously gone missing.  Literally the Worst timing, @ Marian and Merrill, sweeties, if you’re reading this I’m so sorry I accidentally did that to you. So anyway thats the timeframe for this fic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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